Doug and I made it through signing the papers at the funeral home. We both started having a hard time catching our breath the moment we saw it. The surrealness tends to wear off when you are faced with the actual building right in front of you. I didn't even make it to the door before I started crying uncontrollably, inconsolably. A lady met us at the door and led us to a couch, thank God, where I could try and pull myself together. It took a while, but I didn't pass out like I thought I would. I still cannot believe or understand how we go from a live baby last week to being at a funeral home to sign papers for his cremation just days later. I just can't believe it and I wish I didn't have to.
Luckily, Juan was very nice and helped ease us through the process. He answered all our questions and he really helped ease some of my fears. I was actually very interested and learned quite a few things about cremation. It makes me much more comfortable with it now, for Andrew, and for myself. I know my little boy is in good hands and will be cared for until he can return home with us. It will probably take two weeks because of all the legalities involved with such a young infant...crazy, but it gives me time to begin the process of choosing an urn for my little one and waiting on the call that we can come pick Andrew up and bring him home. I just wish it were a daycare calling with that information instead of a funeral home.